Posts Tagged ‘Relationship’
Dating can be fun, delightful and enjoyable – and it should be at all times whether you are single and dating or whether you are in a relationship or married. Even if you have found that love you’ve sought or have been married for years, dating is still a large part of the equation to keep your relationship and marriage fresh and fun.
When you’re single, dating can feel like a full-time job. It’s like finding the right job where you can feel happy and free and you know your philosophies are in alignment so you can express yourself and use your talents to their fullest.
This builds your self-esteem in business and affords you the opportunity to contribute to something bigger and greater. The experience is the same when it comes to finding the right person to date and be your mate.
If you are in a relationship or married, it is important to remember the art of dating and make it a priority. For many, dating can be something that you have either forgotten how to do or perhaps that you do once a week or less often as a “date night”.
Men and women often have different ideas about dating and what constitutes “dating”. Each person may have their own perception of what a date is and isn’t and what they are looking to accomplish during the time they spend with someone else.
Do you want a date or a mate?
In other words, are you really looking to simply go out, have a good time, enjoy yourself and the time you spend with someone in the moment? That’s a great date! You enjoy the time you spend preparing, pampering yourself and getting ready for the “big date”, then you burst with joy when you meet him, and go with the flow of the plans you’ve made while smiling and savoring the pleasures of it all.
Or do you find yourself looking for a connection with the other person while you are dating as described above and enjoying the time you spend with him? Do you consider if you want to spend more time with him? Do you want to know more about him and what makes him tick? Or perhaps how your lives, values and lifestyles could possibly fit together? Perhaps you want to know what his goals and dreams are for the year or the next three, where he wants to travel to next, how he likes to celebrate his birthday, and how he treats and takes care of himself.
Be honest with yourself and ask yourself where you are in your dating life – whether you’re single or not.
If you’re in a relationship or married, when was the last time you and your sweetheart had a terrific date where you took the time to get dressed and pamper yourself before it, enjoyed being together without the fuss and stresses of life for a few hours, and laughed at the end saying, “That was great!”?
If you’re single, whether you’re dating online, being introduced to potential suitors by others, or simply connecting with people in your everyday travels in life, decide for yourself if you really want a date or if you want a mate.
Mating is different than dating because dating is part of the fun of mating that should never stop. The distinction is that when you mate, you continue to date the same person with as much enthusiasm, interest and joy as you did when you dated
If you have a mate, act like it is your first date and enjoy the fun of getting to know each other all over again.
“It’s your time to have it all!”
How can another year have passed and you still haven’t met the love of your life? You might be thinking you can’t have it all and maybe you’re thinking you are just going to be satisfied with your life the way it is right now. Stop your stinkin’ thinking! There is no reason to settle for status quo when you can have it all!
There are some things you can do right now to get ready for the life of your dreams in 2011. Our new newlywed, Shawn, started her search for Mr. Right by cleaning out her closets and making room for him. That’s right, out with the old so the new can walk in. Now is the perfect time to throw out anything that you haven’t worn or used in the last year and it’s the perfect time to donate what you don’t want, to charity.
Give your home and office a once over and create environments that support your goals.
Next, decide what you want, what you truly want. One of the biggest things that can hold you back from everlasting love is you not being clear about the type of person you want to attract or what you are seeking as the next phase in your professional life. Take time to write your list of who and what you want. Use www.deargodletter.com/bbb to make it easy and fun.
Surround yourself with a visual representation of what you want in your life. Create the vision board you promised yourself you would. Gather your girlfriends together and have a vision board party. We offer a simple kit that includes everything each of you will need to complete yours. Play music, have fun and really celebrate what’s next for you. To get the kits for your party, see our BBB vision board.
As the year comes to a close, write down all of your successes for the year. Commit to doing the BBB work to find your true love in the new year and toast yourself because you are on your way to having it all!
It’s your time to have it all!
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You’ve heard it often and so have we: distance makes the heart grow fonder.
Based on our respective experiences, we’ve discovered this doesn’t always hold true – and we know why.
Relationships have four dimensions that work together to make a connection with someone else fulfilling. They are:
Intellectually, relationships that are long distance can fulfill this dimension through great telephone chats, emails, IMs and exchanges of information. Admiration, stimulation and love can grow in this dimension quite easily because they are centered in what you know, understand and want to share with each other. The impact of distance on this dimension is low.
Emotionally, distance can introduce some, well, distance. When one person experiences upset, frustration, fear, sadness we want the support that sometimes only a loved one can give with hugs, kisses, hand holding, back rubbing and eye contact that reassure, comfort and remind us of the loving support right beside us. These physical gestures that provide emotional support are not possible at a distance. One could argue that talking could be emotionally supportive, and we are not discounting that. But sometimes, there are just no words. Likewise, when you are happy, get great news and have something to celebrate, you want to share these highly emotional moments with the one you love too. Emotional engagement comes from a combination of the senses of sight, sound and touch. The impact of distance on this dimension is high.
Spiritually, distance can be a nuisance but not necessarily a dealbreaker. Celebrations of holidays and a shared sense of values are all part of a couple’s spiritual life. Oftentimes but not always, couples with the same faith find spirituality an easily shared dimension because each person has grown up with similar spiritual experiences and heritage. It’s not about any one religion or necessarily about being of the same religion. It’s more focused on an openness to spirituality and interests each person has in sharing experiences in this dimension. It is rooted in respecting and supporting the spiritual fulfillment for each other. This makes for a greater relationship with more depth. The impact of distance on this dimension is medium.
Physically, distance can be difficult. The only way to deal with this dimension is to be diligent about dissolving the distance. To reach out and touch someone, without saying a word, is an irreplaceable connection. It says “I Love You” on a whole different level. Touch is a great experience for us as human beings and is an integral part of a loving, sustainable relationship. Without physical contact and presence, a relationship at a distance is doomed.
The key here is consistent contact. We feel that relationships that include in person physical contact monthly work best. Any longer than this and the distance may begin to drain the relationship. What works even better is to decide and agree on what the longest amount of time will be for you to be apart. It might be 10 days or two weeks. The key is to agree as a team what is going to work for both of you.
There is also one additional aspect of physical relationships: scheduling and setting expectations. When you know when you’re going to see each other again, there is a deeper commitment to the relationship because expectations of being together are fulfilled. When there are no dates set to see each other, doubts can be cast on true commitment to the relationship. The impact of distance on this dimension is critically high.
There is one more area in long distance relationships that we feel compelled to mention that support their ultimate success. In every relationship, finances play a role. In terms of a long distance relationship, money must be considered as flying to visit one another so you can be together and grow together is a real factor for your overall success.
We suggest that you discuss financially how your long distance relationship will be supported. If you don’t, you just might find yourself stuck between your desire to be together and your dwindling dollars to support yourself and your relationship.
A relationship with someone is where we tend to grow the most as people. We find out more about ourselves and each other as a result. We learn about life through sharing it with each other.
Relationships are also a responsibility. They come with commitments, expectations, emotions and experiences you can only have when you have the courage to engage in them.
The bottomline on long distance relationships: plan to be with each other at regular intervals, the more often the better, with the intention of dissolving the distance permanently. Make sure financially you are well-positioned to support it.
We are certain that by following these simple strategies, you can find the man of your dreams and overcome the inherent challenges faced in a long distance relationship.
It’s Your Time to Have It All!
Maybe you are one of those people who just can’t seem to get into the holiday spirit. You would rather stay inside all day then take part of all the hoopla. That is perfectly fine. Just don’t stay home sulking, stay home and be productive. Use this down time to journal and highlight your years successes. Write down everything big and small. Think about your favorite moments of the year, what were you doing? See if you can find the activities that make you smile. This is a great exercise to remind you of all the things you have accomplished.
This is also the perfect time to clean your closets and clean out the clutter in your house and make room for new clothes, new opportunities and a new man. If you are holding on to anything of boyfriends past reflect on why you are holding on to the object then check in with yourself and see how you are feeling and decide to get rid of it. New door usually only open when old doors close. Go out and enjoy yourself or read a great romance novel, or go to a chick flick, they can help you visualize the type of relationship you really want.
Above all be yourself and do activities that would comfort your spirit.
Understanding how you think and operate in the world gives you the power to approach the dating scene and your relationship from a more centered and focused perspective.
Once you understand what you want, how you want to feel and how you want to be in a relationship, you can start your search for Mr. Right in much more powerful way. The same principles apply for finding your dream career. The key to manifesting is to understand what you want first and then go seek what it is you want. Accept nothing less.
Being centered and focused on finding Mr. Right and making this a priority will have a huge impact on all areas of your life. It is when you are clear that magic starts to happen in all aspects of your life.
By informing others in your world about who you are, what’s important to you, how you approach the world and most importantly – what you want, you will provide them with the tools and details for how to help you get what you need to succeed.
It all begins by defining your values, being clear about the relationship and career you want to have, and articulating that clearly to others so they can help you get it.
“It’s Your Time to Have It All!”
Kim and Jen
It’s Fashion Week!
Are you inspired by the latest fashion and are madly trying to lose weight to fit into what’s out there?
Fashion can be fun but at times it can be frustrating.
Oftentimes, while we look at the models on the runway, we start to compare ourselves to them.
The best way to enjoy fashion is to decide what you like and what looks good on you. It is not about looking like a model. It’s about wearing a style that brings out your confidence.
Oftentimes we buy things in the hope that it will look good when we lose a few pounds. This is crazy. It’s more rewarding to be with a man who loves you for who you are.
You can actually look like a model. What you can learn from Fashion Week is the way the models strut. They walk with confidence and that is sexy. And guess what? You can strut too and look just like a model.
What men find most captivating is a woman with self-confidence. It’s this ability to believe in oneself that is alluring, attractive and intriguing. When we have this, any woman can strut like a model and engage the attention of men everywhere.
The fashion that fits is the one that brings forth this inner confidence so you too can act like a model in every area of your life and live the life you love.
It’s your time to have it all!
Sometimes we make excuses to ourselves as we search for our own Prince Charming and “have it all” lifestyle.
We say to ourselves: I need to work out more first; I want to change jobs; or even, asking ourselves: “Who’s going to be dating during this economy?”
It’s interesting, isn’t it? How we put out reasons why it’s just not possible for us to find and meet him.
We want to give you reasons why now is always the perfect time to find him – bad economy or not.
The truth is most people – men and women – want to meet that special someone to share their love and lives with.
Oftentimes, we are the ones who count ourselves or others out by making up and disqualifying any chance of us meeting him.
We’ll grab on to any excuse. All we’re really doing is putting off that which we said we wanted.
Believe it, there are a bunch of reasons why it’s totally possible for you to find and meet him in any economy.
Think about it: Some of the longest marriages you might know of may have gotten their start during the Depression era, one of the worst economies the U.S. has ever experienced.
In fact, my grandparents on both sides met during the Depression era.
On my Dad’s side, they met when my grandfather barely had $5 back then. On my Mom’s side, my grandfather had about $35.
They were both happily married for over 60 years to the woman they loved and fell in love with during one of the most challenging economic times we’ve seen in the U.S.
You see, you can find, meet and keep him in any situation, circumstance or condition – or economy.
If they could do it then, we can do it now.
As the cliché goes: Love really does conquer all.
It’s your time to have it all!
When you look at your calendar, home and activities this week and especially for this weekend, what’s the biggest priority you see?
Remember at the beginning of the year when you said that this was it – this was your year to meet the man of your dreams and have a real loving and supportive relationship?
Take an inventory of what you’ve been doing and the actions you’ve been taking to find him.
· Identified and defined your core values
· Written your Dear God Letter and clearly articulated your Must Have, Would Like and Dream Traits
· Told family and friends you are ready to be introduced to the men who match your Dear God Letter
· Changed your activity schedule to workout when more men are at the gym or taking yoga or pilates classes
· Set up your profile with the dating service of your choice on or offline and shared your Dear God Letter traits with them
If you haven’t been prioritizing your quest for a relationship or feel as though perhaps you thought you were prioritizing this but have found that you’re really not, now is the best time to re-evaluate, make some new choices and take different actions to make the romantic relationship you want a priority.
As we like to say, put Boys Before Business – even before you get the boy. By putting the activities and actions around finding your dream man first, you’ll begin practicing the Boys Before Business philosophy before you meet him. This will serve you well in the long run so you can make adjustments to your schedule now and experience the magic putting Boys Before Business creates.
If one of your greatest dreams and life experiences is to have a great romantic relationship, reprioritize your activities and put your relationship first.
You’ll get great results and discover that now really is your time to have it all!
Summer’s almost over. If you still haven’t met him, there are still fun ways to find him and insightful ways to prepare yourself to meet him.
Finding him is a process. Look at the people you’ve met. What did you like about them? And what would you rather change?
Evaluate each relationship and make this part of your process. Observe and chat with couples you admire. If you know them, talk with them about what makes their relationship great. Whether you know them or not, notice what they do, how they interact with each other and identify what you seem attracted to in their relationship.
Are these qualities in your Dear God Letter? What about in your vision you’ve been writing about?
Take 5 minutes each day to read your letter and visualize the relationship you want to be a part of. This process helps you get clearer and clearer so when he does show up, you can recognize him almost instantly. You can also describe clearly the relationship you want build with him.
Do your best to not compare yourself to other people in their relationships. Instead, focus on you and compare yourself to how much you have grown from the last relationship and what you have learned from your own experiences.
Be honest with yourself: determine if you are moving forward or making the same mistakes. If you find that you are re-creating the same relationship, it just may be time to do something different.
To find the right person, you have to make finding him a priority and put Boys Before Business. It will take time and effort – and when you do, it will take you right into the arms of the man of your dreams.
We’ve noticed that for years many women have struggled to find their Prince Charming and have often felt that this part of their lives has eluded them. We also noticed there were some common denominators with women who are having difficulty finding the one.
Whether you’ve reached that point of saying “It will never happen for me,” or “I just wish someone could tell me what to do to get it right,” perhaps now is the time to be aware of these common pitfalls:
- Women don’t define what they want in their Prince Charming – they often take on whoever comes along.
- Women feel like they’ll make room for him in their lives when he shows up instead of focusing on preparing their lives to have both a great relationship AND a brilliant career.
- Women fill up their schedules to be busy and feel important and loved.
- Women were taught there is plenty of time to find romance. Focus on your career first and make sure you can take care of yourself.
So what can you do to avoid making theses mistakes? If you are reading this thinking, “That’s me!” Maybe it’s time for some helpful hints to steer you in the direction of how to really find Prince Charming. It’s not like years ago someone offered you a class like home economics or shop where you learned the do’s and don’ts for finding Prince Charming. But there are some easy tips to start working with to get this right so you can find him. It’s still possible. Here’s a few to get you started:
1) Decide what qualities the men you date must have before you meet them. This will make it easier to recognize whether the men you date are just one time dates or potentially so much more.
2) Understand what’s important to you in a relationship and get clear about how you want to be treated in a romantic relationship. Remember: being vulnerable is good. If you look like you don’t need or want him, in his eyes — you don’t.
3) Pick a day on your weekly schedule that you leave open to do something new and meet new people.
4) Look around your house. Is it “boy friendly”? Is there room for him in your house? We are proud of you for taking care of yourself, being independent strong women and creating a great environment for you. But is it just that — for you? Or would he find your home welcoming too?
These simple tips and techniques will help demystify how to find Prince Charming and start you on the steps to finally meeting him.
We know it’s been a long road.
It’s about to pay off.
You can really have both – your brilliant career and a fulfilling romantic relationship.
To learn more and take a few more simple steps, join us on our upcoming tele-workshop Click here to register today http://www.boysbeforebusiness.com/teleworkshop.html.
It’s your time to have it all,
Kim and Jen