Posts Tagged ‘find the one’

Remember that popular scene in the movie, Jerry Maguire, when Tom Cruise’s character, Jerry, says that famous line to Renee Zellweger’s character, Dorothy,  “You…complete me,” and so many of our hearts melted as we heard it?

We’d like to hit the pause button on the DVD or BlueRay player and suggest that you take a moment to think about this:

Before you venture out to find Mr. Right, be complete with yourself.

As the new year rolls in, make a commitment to be complete with past relationships you’ve long abandoned, past jobs you’ve left behind and all the people who weren’t really supportive of you in your quest to find the right man for you. Close these out once and for all so you can regain the energy that any thoughts and feelings about these have been draining in your life.

Sweep out the old to make room for the right and bright new ones.

Now, get clear, really clear, about who your dream man is and what career you really love. Understand what is most important to you. Be certain. Be confident. Be complete with both: boys and business.

Then actively seek the life you say you want. Write it down. Use the Dear God Letter to prioritize what you absolutely must have to make it right. Make a point of reading through it every day.

Keep in mind: What you think about, you bring about.

By keeping these details at the top of your mind, you’ll tend to focus on finding what you desire, instead of what you don’t.

So when you finally say that famous follow-up line like Dorothy did in Jerry Maguire, you can say it with confidence because you know you are complete. You know what you really want. You’ll recognize him in an instant and then you’ll hear yourself say:

“You had me at hello.”

It’s your time to have it all!

Need help figuring out what’s really right for you? Start with our free tele-workshop where in 60 minutes we’ll help you to identify what’s really important to you in a relationship and how to write your own Dear God Letter.

You’ve heard it often and so have we: distance makes the heart grow fonder.

Based on our respective experiences, we’ve discovered this doesn’t always hold true – and we know why.

Relationships have four dimensions that work together to make a connection with someone else fulfilling. They are:

Intellectual

Physical

Intellectually, relationships that are long distance can fulfill this dimension through great telephone chats, emails, IMs and exchanges of information. Admiration, stimulation and love can grow in this dimension quite easily because they are centered in what you know, understand and want to share with each other. The impact of distance on this dimension is low.

Emotionally, distance can introduce some, well, distance. When one person experiences upset, frustration, fear, sadness  we want the support that sometimes only a loved one can give with hugs, kisses, hand holding, back rubbing and eye contact that reassure, comfort and remind us of the loving support right beside us. These physical gestures that provide emotional support are not possible at a distance. One could argue that talking could be emotionally supportive, and we are not discounting that. But sometimes, there are just no words. Likewise, when you are happy, get great news and have something to celebrate, you want to share these highly emotional moments with the one you love too. Emotional engagement comes from a combination of the senses of sight, sound and touch. The impact of distance on this dimension is high.

Spiritually, distance can be a nuisance but not necessarily a dealbreaker. Celebrations of holidays and a shared sense of values are all part of a couple’s spiritual life. Oftentimes but not always, couples with the same faith find spirituality an easily shared dimension because each person has grown up with similar spiritual experiences and heritage. It’s not about any one religion or necessarily about being of the same religion. It’s more focused on an openness to spirituality and interests each person has in sharing experiences in this dimension. It is rooted in respecting and supporting the spiritual fulfillment for each other. This makes for a greater relationship with more depth. The impact of distance on this dimension is medium.

Physically, distance can be difficult. The only way to deal with this dimension is to be diligent about dissolving the distance. To reach out and touch someone, without saying a word, is an irreplaceable connection. It says “I Love You” on a whole different level. Touch is a great experience for us as human beings and is an integral part of a loving, sustainable relationship. Without physical contact and presence, a relationship at a distance is doomed.

The key here is consistent contact. We feel that relationships that include in person physical contact monthly work best. Any longer than this and the distance may begin to drain the relationship.  What works even better is to decide and agree on what the longest amount of time will be for you to be apart.  It might be 10 days or two weeks.  The key is to agree as a team what is going to work for both of you.

There is also one additional aspect of physical relationships: scheduling and setting expectations. When you know when you’re going to see each other again, there is a deeper commitment to the relationship because expectations of being together are fulfilled. When there are no dates set to see each other, doubts can be cast on true commitment to the relationship. The impact of distance on this dimension is critically high.

There is one more area in long distance relationships that we feel compelled to mention that support their ultimate success. In every relationship, finances play a role. In terms of a long distance relationship, money must be considered as flying to visit one another so you can be together and grow together is a real factor for your overall success.

We suggest that you discuss financially how your long distance relationship will be supported. If you don’t, you just might find yourself stuck between your desire to be together and your dwindling dollars to support yourself and your relationship.

A relationship with someone is where we tend to grow the most as people. We find out more about ourselves and each other as a result. We learn about life through sharing it with each other.

Relationships are also a responsibility. They come with commitments, expectations, emotions and experiences you can only have when you have the courage to engage in them.

The bottomline on long distance relationships: plan to be with each other at regular intervals, the more often the better, with the intention of dissolving the distance permanently. Make sure financially you are well-positioned to support it.

We are certain that by following these simple strategies, you can find the man of your dreams and overcome the inherent challenges faced in a long distance relationship.

It’s Your Time to Have It All!

Finding the right man can be scary.  You have built a life for yourself and you are happy and the thought of change can be scary.  Doubt can creep into your mind quickly raising questions about what if it doesn’t work out.  Again think of your language, and start thinking about what if it DOES work out.

Sometimes it seems easier to go it alone, why bother at all with finding Mr. Right.  Finding him might mean you might have to compromise, change your schedule, open up, take a risk and what if you waste your time and he’s not the one?

If you have been single for awhile chances are you are content.  You have built a life that suits you and you are happy so why rock the boat.  Why take the chance at possible heartache and what if you spend all this time with someone who turns out to be Mr. Wrong, then you have wasted valuable time.

Instead of thinking about all the things that scare you, go back to when you were a little girl and think about how you envisioned your life and your relationships.  Did you picture your life holding hands with the man of your dreams, traveling to exotic place, growing old and swinging on the front porch?  All those dreams are still possible.  It’s up to you to believe in them again and take action.

Tell us what scares you the most about finding the man of your dreams in this weeks poll http://bit.ly/aoTUIo

Are you scared because…

1) It might not work out & I wasted my time
2) Your lifestyle will have to change
3) You are set in your ways
4) You’re afraid of making a mistake
5) You’ll have to compromise

Finding the man of your dreams can sometimes feel like a daunting task.

Sometimes it seems just easier to stay home and be satisfied with what you have.

What we know for sure is you deserve more and can have more!  Charles Schwab said, “A man can succeed at almost anything for which he has unlimited enthusiasm.” He’s right!

With enthusiasm you can accomplish anything.  To help you find your inner excitement and enthusiasm for finding the man of your dreams, enroll people to support you who are also on a mission to Have It All.  When you surround yourself with like-minded people, there is an amazing energy and force that can help you get results faster!

If those people aren’t in your life yet, you can find them in our Club BBB – our exclusive membership community where the women-only members offer support and excitement to each other. They can feel they are closer and closer every day to finding and keeping the man of their dreams by receiving the same new information through Club BBB, having someone to talk to who also feel this is important and getting access to resources that make it easier to connect with those people who think like you do.

When you are with like-minded people, finding true love is less daunting and much more fun.

To learn more about Club BBB, how you can enroll as a member and find your like-minded accountability, go to http://www.boysbeforebusiness.com/membership.html.

Join with a friend!  It’s even more fun.

It’s Your Time to Have It All!

Are you tired of the bar scene?  Do you keep seeing the same men on line?  Have you run out of ideas where to meet him? Or maybe you’ve caught on to the “Cougar” craze these days.

If you live in the San Francisco Bay Area, you are in luck.  The Society of Single Professionals is hosting one of their famous Dance Parties and Boys Before Business is going to be there!

Start the night with a special women-only seminar with BBB and learn how to attract the one you want.  Then enjoy a fun night of mingling and dancing at the Poplar Creek Grill at Coyote Point Golf Course.  1700 Coyote Pt. Drive San Mateo, CA 94401.

This will be a great event where you will be able to meet like-minded women who share your goal of meeting the man of your dreams and there will be lots of men… so the possibilities are abundant.

For more information go to www.ThePartyHotline.com or to www.boysbeforebusiness.com/events.  See you at 7:30 pm!

We hit New York with a bang.  Next stop Boston, then Valentine’s Day in Phoenix.  We followed up a terrific book signing event at Barnes & Noble with our live Girlie Chat workshop at Saks Fifth Avenue’s flagship store in New York.  It was a fun-filled night that started with a Trish McEvoy make-up bar.

Women sipped wine and munched on yummy appetizers while getting make-up and makeovers.  They heard our stories of how we met each other and how we met the men of our dreams.  Women learned the Boys Before Business philosophy and how to set a foundation for a terrific relationship and a fantastic career.

Participants were treated to a special guest.  Trish McEvoy herself joined us during our workshop and talked about the importance of self-love and the importance of feeling confident.  She got up close and personal and shared some amazing stories.

The night ended with goodie bags, shopping at Saks with a special discount and a buzz about taking the first steps to having it all.

A great time was had by all.  One of our guests summed up everyone’s experience from the night by saying: “Awesome presentation and much appreciation for your empowering words.” ~ Angela

It feels like winter these days as the weather is colder and crisper.  It now gets darker earlier.  There is rain and sometimes snow and many people can go into a little bit of a funk during this time of the year.

It’s easy to stay inside curled up on the nice, warm couch in your sweat pants and read a good book.  It’s also easy to blow off your regular workout when it’s too cold to go outside.

Sometimes this time of the year brings about stress as you look back on the year, review your successes and dust off that New Year’s resolution list from the beginning of the year.  For some, it is a reminder of what we didn’t do.  For others, it is a time to be excited about what the New Year brings.

Here are some things you can do to get out and get going:

1)       Get Moving – The cure for anything is to get into action and get moving.  Use the cold weather as a time to take a workout class indoors.

2)      Read A Good Book – Instead of staying home and reading a good book, go to your local bookstore, grab a cup of coffee and cozy up there.

3)      Play In the Snow – Plan a weekend ski get-a-away and embrace the snow.

4)      Cheer Indoors – Go to an indoor sporting event or concert.

Whatever you do don’t use the cold weather as an excuse to stay home.  Instead get your creative juices flowing and find fun things to do.

You just might find Mr. Right while you’re out in the cold.  Then you can stay in and snuggle up on the nice, warm couch—together.

It’s your time to have it all, isn’t it?

I Want to Buy "Boys Before Business"

Buy from Barnes & Noble

Buy from Amazon.com

Buy from Borders

As the seasons change, take time to think about your past relationships.  People come into your life for seasons, reasons and for lifetimes.

Notice if there is a common denominator and highlight all the positive aspects of each relationship.

Finding Mr. Right is possible when you let go of boyfriends past and take action to meet someone new.

Take that leap of faith and break down any wall you might have built to protect you from getting hurt.  In the journey to find love, you have to put yourself out there and believe you can find him.

As we get older, we sometimes forget to let our guard down so we can let someone walk in.  If you want that happily ever after and true love, then you must be ready and willing to accept it.

You never know if the next person you meet is for a season or a reason, or if he’s the one for a lifetime.

“It’s Your Time to Have It All!”

Kim and Jen