Posts Tagged ‘commitment’

How can another year have passed and you still haven’t met the love of your life? You might be thinking you can’t have it all and maybe you’re thinking you are just going to be satisfied with your life the way it is right now. Stop your stinkin’ thinking! There is no reason to settle for status quo when you can have it all!

There are some things you can do right now to get ready for the life of your dreams in 2011. Our new newlywed, Shawn, started her search for Mr. Right by cleaning out her closets and making room for him. That’s right, out with the old so the new can walk in. Now is the perfect time to throw out anything that you haven’t worn or used in the last year and it’s the perfect time to donate what you don’t want, to charity.

Give your home and office a once over and create environments that support your goals.

Next, decide what you want, what you truly want. One of the biggest things that can hold you back from everlasting love is you not being clear about the type of person you want to attract or what you are seeking as the next phase in your professional life. Take time to write your list of who and what you want. Use www.deargodletter.com/bbb to make it easy and fun.

Surround yourself with a visual representation of what you want in your life. Create the vision board you promised yourself you would. Gather your girlfriends together and have a vision board party. We offer a simple kit that includes everything each of you will need to complete yours. Play music, have fun and really celebrate what’s next for you. To get the kits for your party, see our BBB vision board.

As the year comes to a close, write down all of your successes for the year. Commit to doing the BBB work to find your true love in the new year and toast yourself because you are on your way to having it all!

It’s your time to have it all!

For more of our daily tips:

follow us on www.twitter.com/boysb4business and like our page on Facebook at www.facebook.com/boysbeforebusiness.

You’ve heard it often and so have we: distance makes the heart grow fonder.

Based on our respective experiences, we’ve discovered this doesn’t always hold true – and we know why.

Relationships have four dimensions that work together to make a connection with someone else fulfilling. They are:

Intellectual

Physical

Intellectually, relationships that are long distance can fulfill this dimension through great telephone chats, emails, IMs and exchanges of information. Admiration, stimulation and love can grow in this dimension quite easily because they are centered in what you know, understand and want to share with each other. The impact of distance on this dimension is low.

Emotionally, distance can introduce some, well, distance. When one person experiences upset, frustration, fear, sadness  we want the support that sometimes only a loved one can give with hugs, kisses, hand holding, back rubbing and eye contact that reassure, comfort and remind us of the loving support right beside us. These physical gestures that provide emotional support are not possible at a distance. One could argue that talking could be emotionally supportive, and we are not discounting that. But sometimes, there are just no words. Likewise, when you are happy, get great news and have something to celebrate, you want to share these highly emotional moments with the one you love too. Emotional engagement comes from a combination of the senses of sight, sound and touch. The impact of distance on this dimension is high.

Spiritually, distance can be a nuisance but not necessarily a dealbreaker. Celebrations of holidays and a shared sense of values are all part of a couple’s spiritual life. Oftentimes but not always, couples with the same faith find spirituality an easily shared dimension because each person has grown up with similar spiritual experiences and heritage. It’s not about any one religion or necessarily about being of the same religion. It’s more focused on an openness to spirituality and interests each person has in sharing experiences in this dimension. It is rooted in respecting and supporting the spiritual fulfillment for each other. This makes for a greater relationship with more depth. The impact of distance on this dimension is medium.

Physically, distance can be difficult. The only way to deal with this dimension is to be diligent about dissolving the distance. To reach out and touch someone, without saying a word, is an irreplaceable connection. It says “I Love You” on a whole different level. Touch is a great experience for us as human beings and is an integral part of a loving, sustainable relationship. Without physical contact and presence, a relationship at a distance is doomed.

The key here is consistent contact. We feel that relationships that include in person physical contact monthly work best. Any longer than this and the distance may begin to drain the relationship.  What works even better is to decide and agree on what the longest amount of time will be for you to be apart.  It might be 10 days or two weeks.  The key is to agree as a team what is going to work for both of you.

There is also one additional aspect of physical relationships: scheduling and setting expectations. When you know when you’re going to see each other again, there is a deeper commitment to the relationship because expectations of being together are fulfilled. When there are no dates set to see each other, doubts can be cast on true commitment to the relationship. The impact of distance on this dimension is critically high.

There is one more area in long distance relationships that we feel compelled to mention that support their ultimate success. In every relationship, finances play a role. In terms of a long distance relationship, money must be considered as flying to visit one another so you can be together and grow together is a real factor for your overall success.

We suggest that you discuss financially how your long distance relationship will be supported. If you don’t, you just might find yourself stuck between your desire to be together and your dwindling dollars to support yourself and your relationship.

A relationship with someone is where we tend to grow the most as people. We find out more about ourselves and each other as a result. We learn about life through sharing it with each other.

Relationships are also a responsibility. They come with commitments, expectations, emotions and experiences you can only have when you have the courage to engage in them.

The bottomline on long distance relationships: plan to be with each other at regular intervals, the more often the better, with the intention of dissolving the distance permanently. Make sure financially you are well-positioned to support it.

We are certain that by following these simple strategies, you can find the man of your dreams and overcome the inherent challenges faced in a long distance relationship.

It’s Your Time to Have It All!