As the holidays begin to creep up on everyone, you may be dreading another season alone and being the “single girl” around the holiday tables.

We encourage you to do a little pre-year-end review of the relationships you’ve had so you can really get clear about the one you want to have now.

As you look back on each one, identify first what you liked, what you enjoyed doing and your favorite, favorite parts of it. These are probably the qualities you’d like to repeat in a new relationship. Next, think about what you didn’t enjoy and experiences you wouldn’t want to live through again.

You see, past relationships leave clues so you can clarify the characteristics you’d like to have in the next one.

Maybe you’ve heard the expression, “I keep creating the same relationship with each new guy.” Well, we’re here to tell you…you don’t have to!

What you have to do to stop the cycle of choosing the same guy or creating the same relationship is reflect on the past, get clear about what you experienced, understand what you liked and what you want to change…and then keep what you liked and make new choices about the man you want to be with and the qualities you want to have in your new relationship.

We also recommend updating your Dear God Letter once you’ve completed your review. This is the best way to solidify your new choices so you can write them down.

Every relationship you have gives you more information about you.

Consider looking at your other relationships for clues too – family, friends and business colleagues. What are the qualities you like about these? Maybe you’ve even seen a pattern in these relationships where you have changed them over the years.

Take time now to visit your past relationships and take a good look at the clues you find.

We know when you do, your dream relationship will be that much closer and your holidays will be even brighter.

It’s Your Time to Have It All!

You’ve heard it often and so have we: distance makes the heart grow fonder.

Based on our respective experiences, we’ve discovered this doesn’t always hold true – and we know why.

Relationships have four dimensions that work together to make a connection with someone else fulfilling. They are:

Intellectual

Physical

Intellectually, relationships that are long distance can fulfill this dimension through great telephone chats, emails, IMs and exchanges of information. Admiration, stimulation and love can grow in this dimension quite easily because they are centered in what you know, understand and want to share with each other. The impact of distance on this dimension is low.

Emotionally, distance can introduce some, well, distance. When one person experiences upset, frustration, fear, sadness  we want the support that sometimes only a loved one can give with hugs, kisses, hand holding, back rubbing and eye contact that reassure, comfort and remind us of the loving support right beside us. These physical gestures that provide emotional support are not possible at a distance. One could argue that talking could be emotionally supportive, and we are not discounting that. But sometimes, there are just no words. Likewise, when you are happy, get great news and have something to celebrate, you want to share these highly emotional moments with the one you love too. Emotional engagement comes from a combination of the senses of sight, sound and touch. The impact of distance on this dimension is high.

Spiritually, distance can be a nuisance but not necessarily a dealbreaker. Celebrations of holidays and a shared sense of values are all part of a couple’s spiritual life. Oftentimes but not always, couples with the same faith find spirituality an easily shared dimension because each person has grown up with similar spiritual experiences and heritage. It’s not about any one religion or necessarily about being of the same religion. It’s more focused on an openness to spirituality and interests each person has in sharing experiences in this dimension. It is rooted in respecting and supporting the spiritual fulfillment for each other. This makes for a greater relationship with more depth. The impact of distance on this dimension is medium.

Physically, distance can be difficult. The only way to deal with this dimension is to be diligent about dissolving the distance. To reach out and touch someone, without saying a word, is an irreplaceable connection. It says “I Love You” on a whole different level. Touch is a great experience for us as human beings and is an integral part of a loving, sustainable relationship. Without physical contact and presence, a relationship at a distance is doomed.

The key here is consistent contact. We feel that relationships that include in person physical contact monthly work best. Any longer than this and the distance may begin to drain the relationship.  What works even better is to decide and agree on what the longest amount of time will be for you to be apart.  It might be 10 days or two weeks.  The key is to agree as a team what is going to work for both of you.

There is also one additional aspect of physical relationships: scheduling and setting expectations. When you know when you’re going to see each other again, there is a deeper commitment to the relationship because expectations of being together are fulfilled. When there are no dates set to see each other, doubts can be cast on true commitment to the relationship. The impact of distance on this dimension is critically high.

There is one more area in long distance relationships that we feel compelled to mention that support their ultimate success. In every relationship, finances play a role. In terms of a long distance relationship, money must be considered as flying to visit one another so you can be together and grow together is a real factor for your overall success.

We suggest that you discuss financially how your long distance relationship will be supported. If you don’t, you just might find yourself stuck between your desire to be together and your dwindling dollars to support yourself and your relationship.

A relationship with someone is where we tend to grow the most as people. We find out more about ourselves and each other as a result. We learn about life through sharing it with each other.

Relationships are also a responsibility. They come with commitments, expectations, emotions and experiences you can only have when you have the courage to engage in them.

The bottomline on long distance relationships: plan to be with each other at regular intervals, the more often the better, with the intention of dissolving the distance permanently. Make sure financially you are well-positioned to support it.

We are certain that by following these simple strategies, you can find the man of your dreams and overcome the inherent challenges faced in a long distance relationship.

It’s Your Time to Have It All!

They say two heads are better than one and now you will find out it’s true!  Boys Before Business joined forces with Authentic Woman Experience to make sure you know exactly how to have it all.  We both want you to find love and we are excited to share the tools to help you every step of the way.  We have done it and now we will share with you our secrets of success.  Start by listening to our special Girlie Chat where we interviewed Shana James, co-founder of Authentic Woman Experience about how she is able to have it all!  Download it now HERE

Then join us August 31 at Saks Fifth Avenue, San Francisco form 4-6pm.  You will enjoy complimentary cocktails and appetizers, make-overs by Trish McEvoy, discounts on shopping and you will learn the keys to having it all that you can apply immediately.  PLUS you will get a signed copy of the book Boys Before Business:The Single Girls Guide to Having It All FREE. Click here to reserver your spot.

As a special bonus when you register for the Saks event you can also go to the Authentic Woman Experience and discover 3 big mistakes, even smart women make, that keep them single!  Save your seat now http://www.authenticwomanexperience.com/findlovenow/

Don’t let anything stop you from having the love you want.  Take action and join us!

It’s your time to have it all

As a professional, you know how important business relationships are.

At Boys Before Business, we know relationships are at the heart of every business’s success. Let’s be honest: we never really do anything alone.

On Thursday , September 2nd, from 10am – 12 noon, join us and Constant Contact for a workshop at SFSU in San Francisco for this timely topic.    

At Boys Before Business, we believe that when you build better relationships, you build a better business and ultimately a better life.

Find out how to apply the principles of BBB to your business relationships and then learn  why Constant Contact is a great tool for continually communicating with your connections. After all, when you stay in “constant contact,” you deepen your relationships and do business better.

Join us at SFSU by indicating your RSVP for this free event here: http://www.constantcontact.com/local/sfbayarea/events.jsp?trumbaEmbed=view%3Devent%26eventid%3D90357455

It’s Your Time to Have It All!

We’re back on our event tour at the end of August with our live Girlie Chat at Saks Fifth Avenue in San Francisco on Thursday, August 31st.

Attendees will enjoy a 5-minute makeup consultation and makeover with makeup artists from Trish McEvoy cosmetics, a signed copy of the Boys Before Business book and a discount shopping experience at Saks along with the live workshop with us.

The event begins at 4pm and lasts until 6pm.

Tickets are $25 and your RSVP is required to get into this exclusive event.

To reserve your spot today, go to www.boysbeforebusiness.com/rsvpsanfranciscosaks.html.

It’s Your Time to Have It All, San Francisco!

Ali Fedotowsky did it! She put Boys Before Business in front of a national television audience and it paid off. Big Time!

She focused on finding her true love – and find him she did.

Now we can’t wait to watch Ali’s career soar as a result of her rockin’ romance with Roberto.

Meanwhile, on Sunday, Patti Stanger stood strong with her Must Have Traits and called off her engagement with long time boyfriend, Andy Friedman. She wants to have children, she said in People.com’s Sunday article, that’s a dealbreaker for her.

We applaud Patti’s decision to stick to the traits that are most important to her in her relationship.

We wish her much happiness as she seeks her real Mr. Right.

Reminder: now is a great time for Patti to review and revise her Dear God Letter. Is it time to revise yours?

It’s Your Time to Have It All!

Much has happened with “The Bachelorette,” Ali Fedotowsky, since our last article about her and her quest to find the man of her dreams.

In episodes 5 and 6, Ali continued to talk about her fear of not being loved back.

Isn’t this truly every woman’s fear? That she’ll put her whole heart into a relationship, allow herself to be vulnerable (maybe for the first time ever) and then boom! She won’t feel loved or supported in the relationship she invests in.

During episode 6, Justin fulfilled Ali’s greatest fear when it was revealed to her that not only did he already have a girlfriend – and a second one on the side – but he was using Ali and the show to raise his own visibility to further his own career and interest in getting into acting. Funny enough, his own girlfriend was the one that outted him.

Any woman would be devastated by this situation – and many women have been. Like Ali, they have lost their faith in men and have doubts that Mr. Right could really exist.

For Ali, the way Justin handled the news of her discovery when she confronted him with this made the situation even worse.

We give Ali a lot of credit as she winds her way through the variety of experiences women face when they truly want to find the dream man that they can really build an amazing life with.

To her credit, Ali opened her heart back up during this same episode during her date with Ty and made it possible for her to fall in love again instead of just rejecting the other guys because of her experience with Justin.

At the end of episode 6, Ali talked again about her fears with Frank and about not being able to control who falls in love with her and who she falls in love with. Frank even talked about being cautious himself and why he’s still single at 30. He said that he himself hasn’t settled and that he only wants to get married once.

That’s all rather odd coming from Frank who did receive a rose and went on to welcome Ali to his hometown in episode 8 where she met his family along with meetings Roberto’s, Kirk’s and Chris’s families too. The reason it’s all odd about Frank is because in the coming attractions for episode 9, it is revealed that Frank is actually still in love with his ex-girlfriend who wants him back and says she wants him to “come home.”

Instead of jumping eagerly on a plane promptly to go to Tahiti to meet Ali for the next round of “The Bachelorette” with her, Frank heads off to his ex-girlfriend’s apartment in his hometown of Chicago to figure out his own feelings before he takes the next steps with Ali.

As women, we have to give Ali credit. She’s living through many of the fears we go through when seeking the man of our dreams. Some women give up after a while, throw in the towel and turn to their computers and careers instead and figure if love really does exist for them, it will find them while they are living their lives and fulfilling their other dreams.

Not Ali. Even in the face of men continuing to profess their interest in being the man of her dreams while having girlfriends on the side and her taking the steps to travel to meet each man left standing in their own hometowns along with their families, Ali is still standing strong and remains committed to taking the steps needed to find the real man of
her dreams.

We want to know what’s holding you back from finding yours. Answer our poll this month and tell us what scares you most about finding your own Mr. Right. Click here to
answer the poll: http://bit.ly/aoTUIo.

We’ll keep watching Ali as she heads off to Tahiti with her big heart and possibly for a big heartbreak from Frank.

As she continues on her journey to meet her man and make her dreams come true, we know that she’ll reap the rewards she deserves of getting the boy and building the business she’s dreamed of.

It’s Your Time to Have It All!

We are very proud to present a new inspirational short movie called “The One Flaw in Women.” It has been produced as a tribute to women around the world and is brought to you with the hope that it might brighten your day and do the same for the important women in your life.

We are honored to be affiliated with the movie and feel privileged to contribute content to their website.

Women are a beautiful and integral part of our lives.  They are strong, courageous, caring, sensual, loving and hold a special place in our hearts. Women are why we wrote our book.

Yet even though they impress us with who they are, there is still one flaw that all women have.

Today, I invite you to gift yourself and the women in your life a few moments to feel inspired and uplifted.

So sit back, turn up your speakers and enjoy! Just click this link to watch this 3 minute movie now: http://www.TheOneFlawInWomen.com/movie/1884

Thank You.

Jen and Kim

P.S. This movie is a gift and shall be shared as such. Please “Pass It On” by sharing this powerful experience with the most important women in your life.

Finding the right man can be scary.  You have built a life for yourself and you are happy and the thought of change can be scary.  Doubt can creep into your mind quickly raising questions about what if it doesn’t work out.  Again think of your language, and start thinking about what if it DOES work out.

Sometimes it seems easier to go it alone, why bother at all with finding Mr. Right.  Finding him might mean you might have to compromise, change your schedule, open up, take a risk and what if you waste your time and he’s not the one?

If you have been single for awhile chances are you are content.  You have built a life that suits you and you are happy so why rock the boat.  Why take the chance at possible heartache and what if you spend all this time with someone who turns out to be Mr. Wrong, then you have wasted valuable time.

Instead of thinking about all the things that scare you, go back to when you were a little girl and think about how you envisioned your life and your relationships.  Did you picture your life holding hands with the man of your dreams, traveling to exotic place, growing old and swinging on the front porch?  All those dreams are still possible.  It’s up to you to believe in them again and take action.

Tell us what scares you the most about finding the man of your dreams in this weeks poll http://bit.ly/aoTUIo

Are you scared because…

1) It might not work out & I wasted my time
2) Your lifestyle will have to change
3) You are set in your ways
4) You’re afraid of making a mistake
5) You’ll have to compromise

Anna Paquin, the star of HBO’s True Blood and Academy Award winner says it best in her interview in the July issue of Self Magazine. “Fitting somebody else’s model doesn’t make you happier. You’ll live a full and happy if you pursue things you think are important and live the life you want to live.” We couldn’t have said it better ourselves.

Boys Before Business wants you to live the life you want to live. It is time to know what you want and be confident in getting it.

When asked if she was happy about her weight, Anna said, ” I don’t know too many women who are 100 percent happy, but I’m the happiest I’ve been. For me, it has more to do with being fulfilled in other areas of life, not how many hours I’m at the gym. If you’re not happy in other areas of your life, you’re not going to be happy with the way you look.”

We always say don’t stop looking for Mr. Right, the right job or business relationship just because you want to lose those extra ten pounds. Go create your own happiness now and get fulfilled with the things you like to do so you can be happy and attract the person you want.

Men love happy confident women. Find what makes you happy.

Need help determining what really does make you happy? Join us for an eye-opening free telephone class about vision boards. They can help you visualize the life you want to live – one that’s filled with happiness, joy and the love you are seeking.

Click here to sign up for the call now and join us on Tuesday, June 29th at 5:30pm PT: http://bit.ly/cOIFbb