PostHeaderIcon Rejection Is for Your Protection

The first date was great: great conversation, a little flirty attraction, and an all around fun night.  You walk in the front door excited about the second date. You call your best friend do a recap of the night and go to bed wondering if maybe, just maybe, he is the one.

Day 1: no call, no text, no communication. You start to wonder if you had as good a time as you thought.

Day 2: no call, no text, no communication. You start playing back in your head the entire date and all your conversations, wondering if you missed something.

Day 3: no call, no text, no communication. You start wondering if you are ever going to find the one.

The “great date and no call the next day” experience is not to be feared. This is the perfect time to evaluate what you are looking for. Too many times women want the guy to be the one, so they compromise what is important or don’t notice the red flags from the beginning. They just want to stop the “looking for the one” process and often don’t see clearly what is really in front of them.

If he doesn’t call, think of this as your protection.  It’s time to check in – on you and what you really wanted. He is not the one. There is nothing you said or did that would change this.

Too often, women start to think something is wrong with them.  They start to doubt themselves and wonder if they should have said less, talked more, or worn something different.  Then they fall into the trap of making excuses for him or defending him. They also fall into the fear that no one else will be interested in them, so they pass off this one guy’s behavior and accept it instead of sticking to what they said they wanted.

The truth is, if he was the one, you wouldn’t be feeling like this.  It would be easier. You would be communicating with him and either on the second date already or planning it.

Maybe he had some of the qualities you were looking for, so now you know you are getting closer. Think about what you want, what you truly want. Write down all the qualities that are your Must Have Qualities, your Would Likes, your Dream Traits (refer to the Dear God/Universe letter on page 24 in Boys Before Business).

The best thing to do is focus on your mindset.

Know you deserve the right person and believe the right person is out there for you.

Keep your vision close and protect it.

Be active. Do the things you love to do.

The most important thing to remember is even if you feel rejected, know that instead you were just being protected.

PostHeaderIcon Do You Want a Date or a Mate?

Dating can be fun, delightful and enjoyable – and it should be at all times whether you are single and dating or whether you are in a relationship or married. Even if you have found that love you’ve sought or have been married for years, dating is still a large part of the equation to keep your relationship and marriage fresh and fun.

When you’re single, dating can feel like a full-time job. It’s like finding the right job where you can feel happy and free and you know your philosophies are in alignment so you can express yourself and use your talents to their fullest.

This builds your self-esteem in business and affords you the opportunity to contribute to something bigger and greater. The experience is the same when it comes to finding the right person to date and be your mate.

If you are in a relationship or married, it is important to remember the art of dating and make it a priority. For many, dating can be something that you have either forgotten how to do or perhaps that you do once a week or less often as a “date night”.

Men and women often have different ideas about dating and what constitutes “dating”. Each person may have their own perception of what a date is and isn’t and what they are looking to accomplish during the time they spend with someone else.

Do you want a date or a mate?

In other words, are you really looking to simply go out, have a good time, enjoy yourself and the time you spend with someone in the moment? That’s a great date! You enjoy the time you spend preparing, pampering yourself and getting ready for the “big date”, then you burst with joy when you meet him, and go with the flow of the plans you’ve made while smiling and savoring the pleasures of it all.

Or do you find yourself looking for a connection with the other person while you are dating as described above and enjoying the time you spend with him? Do you consider if you want to spend more time with him? Do you want to know more about him and what makes him tick? Or perhaps how your lives, values and lifestyles could possibly fit together? Perhaps you want to know what his goals and dreams are for the year or the next three, where he wants to travel to next, how he likes to celebrate his birthday, and how he treats and takes care of himself.

Be honest with yourself and ask yourself where you are in your dating life – whether you’re single or not.

If you’re in a relationship or married, when was the last time you and your sweetheart had a terrific date where you took the time to get dressed and pamper yourself before it, enjoyed being together without the fuss and stresses of life for a few hours, and laughed at the end saying, “That was great!”?

If you’re single, whether you’re dating online, being introduced to potential suitors by others, or simply connecting with people in your everyday travels in life, decide for yourself if you really want a date or if you want a mate.

Mating is different than dating because dating is part of the fun of mating that should never stop. The distinction is that when you mate, you continue to date the same person with as much enthusiasm, interest and joy as you did when you dated
other people.

If you have a mate, act like it is your first date and enjoy the fun of getting to know each other all over again.

“It’s your time to have it all!”

PostHeaderIcon Friday’s Weekend Quote

“Nothing compares with the finding of true love; because once you do your heart is complete.” (Anonymous)

Is Yours the Greatest Love Story Ever?
Take your notebook and your iPod, head off to the park, and write your love story about how Boys Before Business helped you meet and keep the man of your dreams and win a Sandals getaway vacation! And if you haven’t found him yet, that’s okay! Reply to this blog and tell us how you’re doing with your search, how you are using the Boys Before Business strategies and what your challenges and triumphs are. We are here to support YOU! Take this weekend to rest, relax and rejuvenate your spirit!

PostHeaderIcon One of the Greatest Love Stories Ever

The Sound of Music: One of the greatest love stories ever told. It’s a true story of how two people met and unexpectedly fell in love. Each had to resolve his/her own dilemmas, and neither expected to find love. Together they had to overcome huge hurdles. But once they opened themselves up and allowed love to come into their lives, there was no stopping their union.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abLepZsPxKg&feature=related

PostHeaderIcon Is Yours the Greatest Love Story Ever?

Is Yours the Greatest Love Story Ever? Tell Sandals your story and win a trip for two!

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Boys Before Business is excited to announce that Sandals Resorts is giving away all-inclusive vacation packages to couples with the Greatest Love Story Ever! You and your Prince Charming can win an all-expenses paid trip for two!
The Royal Wedding is right around the corner, and Kate and Prince William’s story is a wonderful example of how a girl really can have it all! A few weeks ago, Boys Before Business wrote a blog entry about the importance of being open to receiving the man of your dreams and realizing that sometimes he doesn’t come in the package we expect him to. Do you remember reading it? This same thing has happened to Prince William and Kate! The press refers to Kate as a “commoner,” and she and her soon-to-be husband are breaking all of the old rules about whom a Prince should marry. Typically, a prince is supposed to marry someone from royalty, which Kate is not. But once again, true love can and does overcome everything. For Prince William, where his finance comes from is much less important than who she is and how he feels about her. Congratulations to them!

So tell us: Where did you meet your Prince Charming? Was his arrival a total surprise, or had you been planning for him? Has your relationship flowed easily, or did you have some bumps along the way? What were the challenges that the two of you had to successfully overcome, and how has your love been able to rise above these challenges? And finally, how have you been able to HAVE IT ALL?

Boys Before Business has had the pleasure of collaborating with Beaches Resorts By Sandals as curriculum trainers during their fun BFF Girls Getaway programs. We are excited to be visiting the Turks and Caicos resort in May and again in October. During those visits, we will be lounging in the sun, getting massages, and maybe even be taking a catamaran cruise! Of course, we will also be talking about strategies that will help you find and keep the man of your dreams.
We are excited to share the news with you about this great contest! Send in your entries, and don’t forget to include how you were able to find and keep the man of your dreams, and how Boys Before Business helped you do it! Good luck!

Click on the link for contest details:

PostHeaderIcon Groundhog Day

Do you remember the movie, “Groundhog Day,” with Bill Murray?

 

Of course you do! He kept waking up and living the same day over and over again until he got it right. Of note: That whole day included getting his relationship with Andie MacDowell’s character right too.

Do you keep feeling like you keep living the same relationship mistakes over and over again?

Well, this year, it’s time to do something different…and let us help you.

Oftentimes, similar to Bill Murray’s character, you may experience the same situations time and time again with your romantic relationships and your business relationships. Like him, you may keep doing something different and finding lots of options that don’t work.

It’s time to get out of your relationship rut and discover what does work. It’s time to get the tools you need so you can stop spinning your wheels and finally have it all.

This week, take the following 3 steps to begin your Boys Before Business journey to having it all:

1) Join our newsletter (it’s free!)

2) Schedule 60 minutes in your calendar to listen to our free teleworkshop about The First Steps to Having It All

3) Follow us on Twitter @BoysB4Business and get daily tips for your relationships with both boys and business

You have a choice: you can keep waking up to the same relationship struggles and heartache or you can choose to start having it all.

Really…

Isn’t it your time to have it all?!

PostHeaderIcon The Power of Love

In the 80’s, we all danced around to Huey Lewis & The News singing about whether we believe in love and about the power of love taking us back to the future. Remember that? Those were the days when we were carefree, loved our boys and probably weren’t thinking much about business.

These days, maybe the opposite is true: you spend more time thinking about business and less time believing in love.

We know. Sometimes it’s hard to believe that you can still find love, but we know it’s possible… as long as you want to.

Oftentimes in the conversations we have during our workshops around the country, we find that women have lost their belief in love and feel that it’s no longer something that they can experience in their lives.

Cher has a great quote that we love: “If grass can grow through cement, love can find you at every time in your life.”

You see, finding love starts with the belief that you can find it, find him and that you deserve to have it all: boys and business.

When you believe it, you’ll see it and see it manifest right before your eyes. When you open your heart, soul and spirit to love, inevitably you will attract it and by golly, love will find you.

By keeping your eye out for the man you feel is your Mr Right and by revising and refining your Dear God Letter as you meet different candidates to determine who’s really right for you, you just may find that Huey Lewis was right when he asked, “Do you believe in love? Do you believe it’s true?”

And then you’ll find that Huey and the boys summed it up perfectly when they sang:

“They say that all in love is fair/ Yeah, but you don’t care
But you know what to do/ When it gets hold of you
And with a little help from above/ You feel the power of love
Can you feel it?”

May 2011 be your year to embrace and celebrate the power of love… Sing it, Huey!

Need help figuring out who’s really right for you? Start with our free tele-workshop where in 60 minutes we’ll help you to identify what’s really important to you in a relationship and how to write your own Dear God Letter.

PostHeaderIcon Start The Year Out Right

calendar2This is your year for happily ever after. You have decided. The question is, are you committed? To have it all you are going to have to be committed to taking action. Finding Mr. Right is possible but you must be willing to put in the time and effort. As we have said before, go find Prince Charming instead of waiting for him at the door.

Before we help you get ready for the love of your life, we want you first to get rid of your excuses.

Top Excuses For Not Finding Mr. Right

1) I don’t have any time.
2) All the good men are taken
3) I don’t want to have to give up my career
4) I don’t know where to meet him
5) I need to lose weight first

Girls, don’t let these excuses sidetrack you from having the life you want. You may be satisfied right now with life and maybe you were like us and thinking this is as good as it gets. No more status quo in 2011! It’s time. So what can you do?

Here’s how to start:

• Determine what you want. Know what you are looking for so when you find him, you keep him. Write your Dear God letter today.
• Decide what you will give up in order to get what you want. You might have to forego watching your favorite show to go out on a blind date or skip spending time on Facebook to go on Match.com. You might have to leave work on time to go to an event.
• Associate with people who will help you get what you want. Surround yourself with people who support you and tell them what type of person you are looking for.
• Have a plan and work your plan. Join a dating service, start taking a class, schedule time to put yourself in a position to meet the right person.

Next, believe it is possible. You need to be excited about your life in love! Tom Barret says, “It is time to dust off your hope. Dust off your belief. Dust off your confidence. Dust off your determination. And it’s time to Dust off your dreams.”

Why?

Because you are either going to dust them off or cast them off. That choice will impact the direction and quality of your life for years to come.

It’s your time to have it all!

For more of our simple tips, follow us on www.twitter.com/boysb4business

Need help figuring out who’s really right for you? Start with our free tele-workshop where in 60 minutes we’ll help you to identify what’s really important to you in a relationship and how to write your own Dear God Letter.

PostHeaderIcon Looking For Love vs Looking For Looks

girl-looking-over-glasses1As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “What we seek we shall find…”

When looking for Mr. Right or that right business relationship, keep in mind that you will eventually get what you are looking for. What’s most important is to be clear about what it is exactly that you are seeking.

We know that when you look for something in particular, you are seeking certain qualities and characteristics so your awareness of these traits is raised. You are more sensitive to them so you will readily pick them out when you see them.

Here’s a simple exercise to play with for a moment to understand what we mean: the next time you are in a crowded room with lots of people or you are going to a mall to shop, focus on just finding the people who are wearing red. Chances are, you will start seeing a whole bunch of people wearing red-because that’s what you are looking for and focusing on.

The interesting thing that occurs for many women is that we tend to look for a man with good looks instead of looking for a man who will love us and who we can love.

As we like to say: Don’t look for the man you can live with; look for the man you can’t live without.

Looking for a man who is tall, dark and handsome may preclude you from seeing and meeting the man you really could fall madly in love with. We know this firsthand and can attest to the benefits of looking for the qualities and traits of the man and relationship you want to have, instead of just looking for good looks alone.

In business, getting clear about the types of people you want to work with and the qualities and characteristics they possess is similar to seeking the man of your dreams. The process is the same. Using tools like the Dear God Letter are the same to clarify what you want in the professional relationships you are seeking.

The more you seek, the more you shall find.

So take the time to make the effort to clarify who it is you really want to be with. Then seek him out and build the life of your dreams with the man you love.

“It’s your time to have it all!”

Need help figuring out who’s really right for you? Start with our free tele-workshop where in 60 minutes we’ll help you to identify what’s really important to you in a relationship and how to write your own Dear God Letter.

Photo Credit: Michal Marcol / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

PostHeaderIcon Be Complete Before You Meet Him

Remember that popular scene in the movie, Jerry Maguire, when Tom Cruise’s character, Jerry, says that famous line to Renee Zellweger’s character, Dorothy,  “You…complete me,” and so many of our hearts melted as we heard it?

We’d like to hit the pause button on the DVD or BlueRay player and suggest that you take a moment to think about this:

Before you venture out to find Mr. Right, be complete with yourself.

As the new year rolls in, make a commitment to be complete with past relationships you’ve long abandoned, past jobs you’ve left behind and all the people who weren’t really supportive of you in your quest to find the right man for you. Close these out once and for all so you can regain the energy that any thoughts and feelings about these have been draining in your life.

Sweep out the old to make room for the right and bright new ones.

Now, get clear, really clear, about who your dream man is and what career you really love. Understand what is most important to you. Be certain. Be confident. Be complete with both: boys and business.

Then actively seek the life you say you want. Write it down. Use the Dear God Letter to prioritize what you absolutely must have to make it right. Make a point of reading through it every day.

Keep in mind: What you think about, you bring about.

By keeping these details at the top of your mind, you’ll tend to focus on finding what you desire, instead of what you don’t.

So when you finally say that famous follow-up line like Dorothy did in Jerry Maguire, you can say it with confidence because you know you are complete. You know what you really want. You’ll recognize him in an instant and then you’ll hear yourself say:

“You had me at hello.”

It’s your time to have it all!

Need help figuring out what’s really right for you? Start with our free tele-workshop where in 60 minutes we’ll help you to identify what’s really important to you in a relationship and how to write your own Dear God Letter.